The World is Rotting...

Lately I've been thinking about the world, about human to be precise. The world is in chaos and humans are the cause of it. The carnage, the suffering, the death are the result of human pride and ego. They are forms formed by the incapability of mankind to judge or for the very least just to think

Bombings are everywhere, murder raided our news, terrorism is a hot topic in everypart of the world.. And they simply occur without any particular reasons that make any sense to me. They are just the result of mankind's pride and ego

Mankind are simply a pride and self-concious creature. It's our instinct. Self preservation. Basically it is the instinct of every living creatures that exists in the world. The only difference between us and animals are this very vague thing called feelings. It is a very fragile border that distinguishes us from beasts

But many have just simply erase that line, degrade themselves into beasts only for a very simple reason. THEIR PRIDE. They just don't give a damn where the world will end as long as they can show that they are superior than others.

Mankind are made equal. None are made superior than the others. So what is it to prove?? A carnage occurs only to satisfy some people satisfaction of their pride, Is it neccesary???

Humans are degrading.. Even the earth herself deny our existence. She wipes lives with tidal waves, burried lives through earthquake, and blown lives by tornado.. People just simply perish... Gone....

Are we born just to perish??? Is it really that simple? OR is there any meaning behind our lives?
A great thing that we cannot comprehend by our mind? What is the purpose of living?? What is the purpose of EXISTING?

THE WORLD IS SIMPLY ROTTING....

-man has made the greatest discovery in the world, FOR the world

But we are also the greatest destroyer-

-Cerulean Sky-

Melody from the heart

Karena gw lagi nganggur akhirnya gw memutuskan bwat surf the net dan cari chord gitar.. Gw jadi mengingat satu lagu yang udah lama g gw denger

YOU'LL BE IN MY HEART

Phil Collins

Come stop your crying

It will be all right

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

It will protect you from all around you

I will be here don't you cry

For one so small you seem so strong

My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?

They just don't trust

What they can't explain

I know we're different but,

Deep inside us

We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Don't listen to them

'Cause what do they know

We need each other

To have, to hold

They'll see in time

I know

When destiny calls you

You must be strong

I may not be with you

But you've got to hold on

They'll see in time

I know

We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart always

Always

He............................art

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He..........................YOU...........................art

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Nganggur,

-Cerulean Sky-

LOL

I feel like a freakin weirdo

It’s just seem that people enjoys being with someone else

but I always feel best when I’m alone

It’s good just to sit here and relax

Caught up in my own world

It’s good to be

ALONE

Yeah it’s weird but it suits me

Anti social? Maybe...

But I don’t give a damn...

It’s just good (most of the time)

It's good,

-Cerulean Sky-

The "V" day

It's Valentine and I totally forgot about it (as always)...

I don't really care about V day but I believe that many people do care for this day...
SO, This post is dedicated to Everyone who do celebrate this day

I've got nothing much to say, but here's a simple and sweet song for you guys in this loVe day

Greatest Story Ever Told

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams
I could've prayed for
There you are

If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man

REFF:

And if I lived a thousand years you know
I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world will never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
close to mine

It's the way we touch it sends me
It's the way we're always feel
Your kiss your pretty smile
You know I'd die for
Oh baby you're all I need

REFF:

And if I lived a thousand years you know
I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world will never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight

Did I tell you that I love you tonight

Sweet ain't it?
Love the song very much. My favorite....

Wishing you all a beautiful loving day

Bless you,

-Cerulean Sky-

Love is in the air

Tears

Somehow I cried.....

Rambling Thoughts

This post is dedicated to "SOMEONE"

ME:

It just happen that You crossed my mind
I realized that I had made billions of mistakes
I just don't really understand what is happening
It just went to fast

How we met, How we felt, How we part
It was just way too fast for my head to comprehend
I called it quits, that's true
But did it quit?
I don't know

I know it didn't in your part
What about mine?
I know I'm to blame
I'm the one at fault
It has always been

Now I see that even the simplest thing I did can make you happy
Though it never last
Not long enough to brighten your life

I feel hollow
Yeah, that's what i feel
Absolute nothingness
A vacuum

But this is what i have to say
I don't have any "feeling" to anyone at this moment
And I must also say, not even to you
That' true

I know I have made thousands of empty promises
And I had just broken another one
Another tears may have rolled down your cheek
Another cut may be done
but that's the truth

I know I'm rude to you
but i do not hate you
I never will
I can promise you that
Though you might not be able to trust me this time

I don't ask any sympathy from anyone
The whole world can hate me if they want
But this is just the
TRUTHS
no more
LIES

All of the memories, I will treasure it
Nothing can substitute those things
Thank you
and I'm sorry

YOU:

You feel that i hate you
NO I DON'T
You feel that I treated you differently
YOU ARE DIFFERENT

You want to know what is my feeling
I'VE GIVEN YOU MY ANSWER
You think it's your fault
MOSTLY IT'S MINE

You think you are not good enough
I UNDERSTAND, I FEEL THE SAME
You think I don't care
THINK AGAIN

You are sad
I'M SORRY
If You want to hate me
I DESERVE IT
If You want to cry
DON'T HOLD BACK

Everybody cares about you
I DO TOO
You do not understand
SO DO I

You're a good girl
This may sound egoistic
but, BE HAPPY

I have drawn my line, will you move on?

It's just about the truth,

-Cerulean Sky-

Kekonyolan di gereja...

Hari minggu, seperti biasa gw ke gereja. Bangun jam 8.30 trus mandi dan siap2 (setelah mengumpulkan nyawa tentunya). D gereja pun, seperti biasa gw pelayanan. Hari berjalan seperti biasa sampai pulang gereja.

Sepulang gereja, arcbishop ngajakin semua altar boys bwat minum di rumahnya. Kita pun setuju. Di rumah arcbishop, kita dijamu dengan makanan dan minuman. Ada kerupuk khas Indo, emping belinjo, kue2 dll. Dan yang paling RUAARR BIASAA, ada bee cheng hiang (gini y nulisnya?). Kita (baca: Anak2 Indo yang norak dan kampungan) berusaha mengambil bee cheng hiang yang tersedia. Dengan malu2 tapi mau, kita bilang ke satu sama lain bwat ngambil duluan. Ditawarin ama arcbishop pun kita cuma angguk2 doang... Begitu arcbishopnya ke belakang, kita langsung ngantri ngambil bee cheng hiang kaya mau ngambil sembako aja... Setelah semua orang mengambil 1 slice, kita balik ke mode malu2 tapi mau...

Kita merasa kalo tiap kali mo ngambil mtuh dendeng babi, selalu ada yang ngejauhin dari tangan kita bwat nawarin ke orang lain.... Rasanya tuh dendeng babi terus menjauh dari kita (btw yang memalukan dan norak cuma anak Indo doang). Pas ada sesi foto bersama, kita foto bareng arcbishop, altar boys porean, n beberapa ortu. Nah pas difoto ada orang yang mindahin tuh dendeng babi.. Gw dengan spontan dan tololnya nyeletuk "Tuh babinya udah mendekat..." Semua (baca: Anak2 Indo) pun langsung ngakak...

Seharusnya sih minimal semua orang yang ada di situ mengerti satu kata yang gw ucapkan... "babi". Untung aja arcbishopnya g nanya "kenapa? babinya kurang????" Kalo sampe dy nanya gimana tuh.....

Trus anak2 Indo pun minta foto bareng arcbishop.. Karena kita difoto membelakangin pintu yang g ditutup, Latar belakangnya jadi terang banget.. Alhasil tuh foto di beri nama "Berdiri di depan gerbang surgawi" (oke, gw tau ini memang jayus)

Post kali ini memang tidak penting sama sekali. Jadi saya minta maaf karena telah menghabiskan waktu anda untuk membaca ketidakjelasan ini... Maaf....

Smile,

-Cerulean Sky-

CNY...

Kmaren kita semua (baca:Aton, Jul, Jebay, gw) pergi ke VH bwat belajar rame-rame (baca:nemenin Jebay ngerjain GP project)... Siang2 (kayanya sekitar jam 12 deh) kita berangkat menuju ke VH. Gw ama Jul berangkat dengan bersenjatakan bola basket dan gitar

gw: Jul, lu bw gitarnya dong...
Jul: Gw bw bolanya aja deh.. Kan gw lebih mirip bola *Wajah bangga*
Gw: *masang tampang (--")* (Yah semoga kalian bisa ngebayangin)
Jul: Kadang2 kekurangan tuh bisa dijadikan suatu kelebihan *grin*
Gw: Bukannya lu emang selalu kelebihan?? *Grin yang jauh lebih lebar dari punya Jul*

Nyampe di VH, kita (baca: Jul n gw) maen Pool dulu sambil nungguin Dhea turun. 10 menit kemudian permainan kita selesai dengan sukses. Akhirnya, kita pun belajar barengan sambil dikit2 ngegossip... Trus si Jebay nyetel lagunya padi yang judulnya "Menanti Sebuah Jawaban" *sigh* Lagu yang bener2 menyentuh.... Jadi pingin nangis (berlebihan banget)

Setengah jam kemudian gw udah menyerah ngerjain math gw n akhirnya gw cm duduk2 bengong aja. Kemudian 2 makhluk (baca: Dicky n master dugem, Zaki) muncul. Mereka pun ikutan belajar....

Karena bosen, akhirnya gw memutuskan untuk maen basket bareng Jul n Aton. Capek.... Maen free for all (permainan yang gw bwat ndiri. Intinya kita maen 1 lawan 1 lawan 1=rusuh). Abis itu one on one ama Aton.. Puas deh basketnya...

Setelah berbasket ria, Julian entah kenapa pengen beli es krim. Akhirnya gw, Dhea, n Jul minjem nyolong sepeda. Ternyata fairpricenya tutup(btw kita nyariin fairprice). Kita pun memutuskan bwat nyari cold storage. Setelah lama menceri, akhirnya Jul (ato Dhea y? lupa gw) men-spot tulisan "Cold Storage" yang sebenernya gede banget.... Tuh tulisan rese ketutupan pohon.

Dhea: Kmarennya pas gw liat masih blum ada pohonnya (Kaya pohon setinggi 4 meter bisa tumbuh dalem waktu semalem aja)
Jul: Itu lu liat dari sudut pandang yang berbeda lah!!!

Kita pun masuk ke cold storage. 1 pertanyaan bodoh dari julian (lagi?!?!?): "Es krim merek fairprice cm dijual d fairprice y???" LIKE DUH!!!!! Pas kluar dari fairprice, berhubung kita ngelewatin McD, si jul jadi pengen beli. Dy pun narik cash n keluar dari toko tersebut, tanpa jadi membeli McD. Gw pun dengan keheranan tanya ke Julian "lu g jadi beli McD?" Dengan wajah senyum2 bego, Julian balik badan trus bilang "lupa..." Satu lagi kebodohan yang dilakukan Julian... *sigh*

Pas lagi makan es krim sambil ngobrol2, Hani, Maura n Nadet dateng dengan membawa ayam (bless them for the food)... Gw pun menyambut dengan gembira kedatangan ayam2 goreng yang kelihatan nikmat tersebut....

Tidak lama kemudian, kita memutuskan untuk balik ke Oldham.. Karena udah g ada makanan, gw, Jul, Aldo, Maura dan Jebay pergi makan ke prata house ato Mr.Prata (whatever deh namanya). Nasi goreng ikan bilis sama mee gorengnya top abis deh!! A MUST TRY!!!

Yah, kurang lebih itu deh yang kita lakukan selama CNY d Singapur. Nothing much, but still something...

Aniwei, hari ini gw menyadari sesuatu, Gw lebih bae ngambil stand yang jelas dari pada ngambang g jelas.. Mungkin berat tapi mau gimana lagi?? Gw g meminta orang2 untuk menerima keputusan gw. Left alone untuk mengerti.. Jadi saya mau minta maaf telah merepotkan semua... Gomen Nasai...

Jaa-ne,

-Cerulean Sky-

Freakish New Year

Kemaren malem pas lagi keluar ama anak2 Oldham, mereka pun seperti biasa mulai ngomongin hal2 g jelas. Kali ini mereka ngomongin tentang Aldo yang sok akrab nyapain orang yang pake baju yang sama ama dy. Trus ada 1 anak yang komentar, "Dasar bule lu!!!" (btw Aldo dari Swiss. pas kecil emang bule banget... Gede2 jadi najis)

Mendengar perkataan ini, gw jadi mengingat suatu kisah nyata yang sudah lama terjadi...

2 taon lalu, pas akhir taon, tepatnya tanggal 31 Des 2006, gw lagi keluar sendiri bwat nyari kado... Gw keluar dengan hati yang riang gembira, burung2 berkicau dengan merdu, dan matahari menyapa dengan lembut (apa seh?!?!?) Oke pokoknya intinya gw lagi pergi keluar sendirian..

Trus tanpa sengaja gw nabrak (kayanya lebih cocok pake kata "ditabrak" deh) bule cowok yang badannya lumayan gedhe... Otomatis gw ngomong sori. Tuh bule juga minta maaf ama gw. Trus tuh bule mulai ngomong2 ama gw dengan ramah. Okay, bule yang ramah, nothing's wrong with that.... Karena kebetulan gw searah ama dy, kita pun jalan sambil ngobrol (baca: bule ngomong ndiri sementara gw ngangguk2 kaya orang bego abis makan narkoba sambil dugem).

Pas kita di Citylink, tiba2 dy nanya, "Do you have a BOYFRIEND? Uh... I mean girlfriend.." Okay, Sumthin is wrong.... Gw jwb aja g punya... (Emang waktu itu gw g punya. Neither BOYFRIEND nor GIRLFRIEND). Trus dy nyahut... "I'd like to be your BOYFRIEND" Definitely sumthin is wrong... Sh*t!!! Gw ga salah denger apa?!?!?! Gw udah mulai ketakutan gitu....

Jalan makin jauh, dy mulai ngeremes-remes bahu gw.... WTH!!!! Gw berada d tempat yang salah di waktu yang salah nih!!! Trus dy ngasih komen: "I like your skin, It's brown like chocolate. Makes me wanna lick you all over." @#$&$!!!!! Najiiiiiiiiiiiisssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! mampus dah gw... "I wanna lick you from head to toe." *Gw udah mau pingsan (bukan karena seneng loh!!!!)

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's new year eve and I'm walking with a F**KING GAY!!!!!! Tidaaaaaaaak T.T Rasanya dunia gw udah mau kiamat gitu deh... Wadefak!!!! Masa gw seberuntung itu sih *sob* *sob*

Kata2 dy yang itu bwat seluruh sel-sel abu2 di otak gw bekerja dengan aktif. Neuron2 di tubuh gw bekerja dengan kecepatan maksimum untuk menyalurkan pesan2 yang gw terima menuju ke otak. Semua hal yang gw terima langsung diproses dengan super kilat demi menjawab pertanyaan terpenting di hidup gw " Bagaimana gw bisa kabur dari nih orang!!"

Gw langsung ingat kalo di depan ada MPH. gw langsung bilang kalo gw mo cari buku dulu. Dengan secepat kilat gw lari ke MPH dan duduk di situ sampe tuh bule ilang... Rasanya lega banget pas gw berdiri dan ngeliat kalo tuh bule udah g ada dalam jarak pandang gw... Rasanya tuh MPH bener2 jadi surga penyelamat hidup gw (berlebihan banget)

Gw pun langsung cepet2 balik hostel dan bersumpah g mau beramah tamah lagi ama bule kampret!! kapok banget gw!! Masa gw segitu g lakunya ama cewek sampe yang tertarik ama gw harus cowok sih?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Word of wisdom:

Beramah tamah dengan orang itu emang baik selama bukan pada orang yang salah

Pengen muntah,

-Cerulean Sky-

Variabel "Anu" dan "Gitu"

Sebenernya gw cuma lagi nganggur dan g ada kerjaan.. Jadinya gw memutuskan untuk membahas sesuatu yang (tidak) penting...

Gw akan membahas tentang variable "anu" dan "gitu" yang entah kenapa sering banget dipakai oleh manusia-manusia Surabaya (including me tentunya)
Karena orang-orang Surabaya sering make yang bginian, makanya kita sering dikomentarin anak2 lain (Biasanya sih orang Djakarta)

Emang terkesan SALAH sih....

Contoh:
Percakapan ini bukanlah sebuah fiksi belaka. Semua persamaan tempat, nama dan kejadian memang DISENGAJA!!! Prcakapan ini benar-bena terjadi.

Chandra: Chandra lagi "gitu-gituan" ama Fanie (biasa, gi ngerjain Fanie)
Fanie: Enak aja!! Kenapa g sama Andika coba!!
Chandra: Lho bukannya lu bilang kalo "gitu-gituan" itu artinya jalan2? Kan gw lagi jalan sebelah lu.
Gw: Iye kan, "gitu-gituan" sebelum berangkat sekolah. Pagi-pagi lagi.
Chandra: Iya, di HDB flat deket sekolah..

Yah, kurang lebih bgitulah percakapan kita... memang penggunaan kata "anu" dan "gitu" sering dikonotasikan (secara negatif) ke arah yang tidak benar. Tai percaya deh, orang Surabaya sering pake tuh 2 kata cm bwat mengisi kekosongan selama kita mikirin kata yang bener bwat dipake... bukan karena kita mikir yang aneh2 (Kata2 dari form pembelaan kebebasan berbicara orang Surabaya yang baru diciptakan oleh gw bberapa detik yang lalu)

Jadi percaya deh, selama kita orang surabaya ngomong 2 kata tersebut tanpa wajah yang sange, kita g bermaksud apa2 (Lain critanya kalo kita ngomongnya udah pake mesem-mesem g jelas)


Sekian post dari gw, sekarang gw mau "anu" dulu, biar g "gitu-gituan"

Jaa-ne,

-Ceruean Sky-

It's My Life

Akhir2 ini gw lagi troubled.. Bawaannya gw emo mlulu.... Untunglah gw lumayan bisa nyembunyiin perasaan gw. Kayanya sih g ada yang nyadar..

Lelah dan capek banget menghadapi hidup... Gosh... (tenang, gw g ada rencana bwat berpulang ke rumah bapa cepet2 kok) Life must go on..

Tapi beneran capek banget... Been trying to forget my stuff through books, but it didn't work... Bahkan tes pu gw g bisa konsen.. (Worried sick for my Physics) *sigh* Emang hal yang bisa gw lakuin untuk ngilangin stress tuh dikit... Cuman maen basket ato bergitar ria...

Kmaren maen basket seru banget... 4 on 5... So we're the underdog here... Tapi kita semua menang tinggi dan boleh dikatakan menang skill (hahaha sombong gw). Memang basket tuh pelepasan yang bagus dari stress... Dengan basket, paling g gw g bakal mikir aneh2.. All i need to think about is how to bring the ball nearer to the basket one step at a time...

Though I fell down on my knee (literally), I felt nothing. No pain, no fear, nothing. Just a sudden rush of excitement, anticipation and energy... Rasanya smua masalah gw langsung ilang begitu aja... At that point of time, I felt alive.... hahahah

Basketball... It's my life...

It's tough for you....

I'm d*mn tired of this.... Maybe I've been thingking too much lately.. Too much that it's eating me inside... Maybe it will be good for me to just relax, laid back, n turn my back towards every single thing... Maybe it's good to stop the world from revolving, just for a split second.. At least I won't be thinking about anything at that split second I won't have to feel anything..

Maybe some people are right... Maybe I'm too kind... Too kind that it hurts.... I myself do not think that I deserve the word "kind"... I'm just a cold hearted person with no emotion...

The world is tough... for many person around me, mostly for 'her'... Just wanna say sorry but I just can't bring myself to say the word... Sorry for my lack of courage, my ignorance, and my God**mn self...

I feel the weight of the world on my soulder... It's tough..,

-Cerulean Sky-

The Sweetest Thing I Ever did.. Where did it lead me?

Pas hari minggu kmaren gw pergi ke greja... karena Ezlink gw ud abis, akhirnya gw memutuskan untuk bayar pake koin. (gosh, i spent like 1 bucks for it.... so stupid) N gw pun akhirnya dapet tiket kertas..

saking nganggurnya gw pun mulai nyobekin tuh tiket jadi persegi.. N makin nganggur, gw mulai nglipet-lipet tuh kertas..... KESALAHAN YANG SANGAT BESAR.... Gw ngelipet tuh kertas jadi bangau.... Yang akhirnya ngebuat gw teringat suatu kejadian yang pernah terjadi pas gw masih di Indo.. Pas gw masih SMU

There's this girl that i had a crush with... Charming, bae, manis, dll d pokoknya.... sebelum gw pergi ke Sing, gw udah memutuskan untuk ngasih dy sesuatu.... Dan gw g tau entah darimana datangnya ide gila bwat ngasih dy 1000 bangau kertas...

Projek gw pun dimulai... hari demi hari gw abisin bwat ngebuat bangau kertas, n supaya ga ketauan ama ortu, gw selalu mulai kerja di ats jam 10 malem.. Dengan rate 25 buah per jam, tiap hari gw bisa buat sekitar 50 buah which means gw punya 20 hari bwat nyelesain hal tersebut. N I DIDN'T HAVE THAT TIME...

800 buah bangau kertas pun terkumpul, n i had 1 more night to finish the other 200.. gw udah hampir nyerah dan udah mau ngasi dy 800 buah aj... Tp entah kenapa, gw berusaha nyelesain apa yang udah gw mulai...

I can remember that day clearly.... jam 10 malem pas smua anggota keluarga gw udah tidur, gw di dalem kamar gw udah mulai motongin kertas lipat jadi ukuran 2 x 2 cm... And one by one i started to fold.. 25 buah per jam.... 200 buah brarti 8 jam.. capek, ngantuk, gw udah g peduli... besok adalah hari terakhir gw bs ketemu dy... Setelah kerja keras yang gw lakuin semaleman, pas jam 4.30 pagi 1000 bangau kertas pun terkumpul... ditambah cari tempat n hias, jam 5 gw baru tidur...

5.30 I had to wake up for schooll. Tired and devastated, I went to school.. Pulang sekolah, pas gw udah mau ngasiin, gw telat.... Dy udah keburu pulang... That hurts a lot.. Somehow, by a mere coincident, gw diajakin ama temen gw bwat dateng k sebuah konser. She'll be there... Akhirnya, gw berhasil nyerahin smua hasil kerja keras gw... JUST FOR 1 GIRL, I'LL SACRIFICE THAT MUCH... EVEN MORE..

Akhirnya, gw pun berangkat ke Sing... I told her what I felt, and I waited for more than a year.. Just for a single answer from her... IT NEVER CAME...

The sweetest thing I ever did.... Where did it lead me??? NOWHERE...

-cERULEAN sKY-

18 is a magical number....

Should have post this yesterday.....



Yup, I'm 18 and i'm happy about it....

feeling a bit old now.... hahaha....

18 is a magical number.... Gosh.... At last I can enjoy a bottle of beer or whizky legally now...
That's something to be happy about... I couldn't buy, let alone drink an alcoholic bev. before... So yesterday, I bought a bottle of beer to celebrate me turning 18....
Drank a bit too much that my body turns a bit reddish... but nevermind as long as i didn't cause any trouble..

As for my self, I do not really enjoy to drink those kind of stuff.... It was more of a symbolic celebration of being an adult.... Though actually I still don't feel like an adult.... just another teen doing another stuff... but hell with it.. I'm 18 and I'm happy about it...

-Early morning rambling by a teen who just turned 18-

-Cerulean Sky-